Saturday, 16 April 2011

Sin... innie or outie...

Is your belly button an innie or an outie? Do you, in fact, even have one. Was it Hitchcock who was reported to not have the dimple in the middle of his belly? How is that possible? It's where the umbilical cord was attached during your time in the womb, and, as everyone served their sentence of Life in the womb, surely he must have had one.

Maybe Hitchcock was delivered by the stork or was downloaded as an attachment to an email. Nah, they didn't have email in those days. Perhaps it was a telegram. Hey, what if he had his belly button on his foot?

Are you left handed or right? Or both? Ambidextrous sounds like a medicine for a Glucose deficiency. I'm right, but it's not wrong to be left. Once upon a Daisy-Duke, you were thought to be in league with the devil if you were left handed. It was a sign that you were evil and should be condemned to death - or perpetual repeats of Eastenders. The result was the same. I'm sure that, at some point in time and place, it was probably thought that you boogied with Beelzebub if your belly button poked in, or poked out, or shook it all about! And if it WERE on your foot, you could dance with the devil until dawn.

I wonder if Hitler was left handed, or if he con-caved or vexed.

It doesn't matter either way, does it? Not really. Whether you write right or not doesn't automatically turn you into an agent of Satan, putting catalogues through letterboxes advertising holidays in the real Down Under if you only fancied being a LITTLE bit naughty.

Take me. People die around me. I hear their cries every second whether I'm awake or asleep or press my hands so tightly to my ears I could push them right through each other, my ears swapping sides like teams in a football match. I'm right handed, have an innie and can step inside a church without a bolt of lightning striking me down. I'm not evil. I'm, essentially, a nice guy.

Granted I bet Hitler, Ghengis and Bundy thought they were decent guys, following their cause, fighting the good fight. It depends on your point of view. But me - the deaths don't make me bad. The horrors don't mean I'm hateful. I'm just an Ordinary Joe, even though my name isn't Joe - it's Sin.

Sin by name, sin by action, but not so by nature. Is it possible to kill but not be a killer? I don't know.

You. Are you an innie or an outie, a leftie or a rightie? It doesn't matter, of course.

I just wondered.

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